Just Another Monday
by Cerasi J
Summary: Zekk faces his inner demons and tells Jaina how he really feels. But is it already too late?
1. Just Another Monday

Title: Just Another Monday...  
Chapter: 1/??  
Author: Cerasi J.  
Rating: PG  
Catagory: Drama/Other mushy crap.  
Summary: My first try at drama.   
Author's Note: Anything with "//" means reading, thinking or the Force.   
~*~*~*~  
  
At 4:03 Monday morning Zekk's comm link buzzed him out of a deep, peaceful sleep. He halfway opened one eye, and cursed at the little machine by his bedside. He rolled over and fumbled for the switch to answer it. His hand finally hit it, "Hello?" He left the "What the hell do you want?" hanging in the air.  
"Zekk? Zekk, it's Jacen."  
"Jacen...? Dude, do you know what time it is?"  
"Yeah, I know," he sounded very upset.  
Zekk sat up at hearing the fear in his friend's voice. He knew Jacen would never call this early in the morning unless something was wrong. "Jacen, what is it?"  
The only thing he could hear was a muffled sob on the other end. "Jacen?"  
"Jaina…"   
By this time Zekk was fully awake. "What's wrong with Jaina?" he demanded. Things had been hard for Jaina and Zekk over the past few months.   
He came back to Courscant only a week after Chewbacca had passed away, and that was hard for Jaina. She didn't speak to Zekk at first, as if Chewie's death had been his fault. Then, she lightened up and started talking to him again, only to find out while Zekk was away he had met another woman named Galla Tyvek. Of course, Jaina stopped talking to him completely after that.  
Zekk pulled himself out of his thoughts and brought himself back to the problem at hand.  
"Jacen, please tell me, what happened?!"  
"Jaina," he sobbed again. "W-was in an accident."  
All the blood ran from his face, he felt like Jacen had just slapped him. "Is she… is she…?" Was all he could manage to studder.   
The young man on the other end of the line sniffled. "No, she's not. But she's close."  
Now Zekk felt like crying, "Jacen, stay where you are, I'll be right down."   
He shut off the comm and flopped back onto his bed, trembling. How could this happen? Why did it have to happen? Why Jaina? Why did it have to happen to his best friend?   
Moving numbly, he got up and turned on the lights. He pulled his shirt over his head, still thinking. Was it him? Did this happen because of him? Because he screwed up and didn't listen to himself? Because he never told Jaina how he felt? What if this was his last chance? She would never know. Never know because he was always too shy.   
He let out an angry sigh as he pulled on his boots. He told himself over and over it must be a dream and he would wake up. But he didn't wake up, he didn't wake up as he walked into the E.R., and he didn't wake up when he saw Han and Leia, Jacen and Anakin sitting there with teary eyes and heavy hearts. Nope, guess it wasn't a dream. Anakin and Jacen stood when they saw Zekk walking towards them. "How is she?"  
Anakin hung his head and tears formed in Jacen's eyes, "They doctors said if she makes it through the afternoon she might live," Anakin said.  
Zekk stood there, pale and shaking and not saying a word. "H-how did it happen?" he asked, trying to keep from crying himself. It didn't work, and tears rolled down his cheeks anyway.   
"We don't know," Anakin answered again. "We got a call about an hour ago saying that she was in an accident, that's all we know."  
Zekk nodded, trying to wipe the tears away. Leia came and stood beside Jacen, her arm around protectively. "Thank you for coming, Zekk."  
He nodded again, "Is there anything I can do? When can I see her?"  
At that moment Jacen sobbed again, "You don't want to see her! She looks… unhuman!"   
"But I want to see her," he protested. He knew it must be harder for Jacen, being a twin and all.  
Leia spoke up quietly, "Maybe in a little bit the doctors will let you see her."  
Zekk wanted to scream, "What if there isn't 'a little bit'?? What if this is it??" But he didn't. He just said, "Okay," and started to walk away.  
"Zekk!" Leia called after him again. He turned and looked at her. Her face was worn and tired looking, she looked older then she was. She placed a small leather bound book in his hands.   
"It's Jaina's journal," she explaned. "She told me if anything ever happened to her I should give it to you."  
Why me? Why not Jacen?, He wondered. "Thanks."  
She nodded and turned away. He stood there for a minute, feeling uncomfitable.   
He finally turned and walked outside. He sat down on a bench and looked over the little book in his hands. Part of him wanted to open it and read every word Jaina had ever writen, but part of him felt as if he were her little brother sneaking into her room and reading her diary.   
He kept staring at the book, debating on what to do with it. Well, if Jaina wanted him to have it, she must have wanted him to read it…   
He shoved the book in his pocket, he would keep it for her and when she got better he would give it back to her. He glanced off to the east, watching the sunrise. It had been a long time since he had watched the sunrise.   
Zekk finally couldn't resist any longer and he pulled the book from his pocket, opened it in the middle and read,  
  
// July 27  
  
I saw Zekk today, the first time since we left the Jedi academy... I wish Jacen would have asked Tenel Ka to marry him,  
I was hoping Zekk would follow and perhaps ask me... I could never be that lucky I suppose. I don't know what do to now that I am a knight... sometimes I wish I was normal, just a normal girl, with normal looks, a normal life... normal parents... I guess I just can't have everything my way... For once I would like to wear a dress without everyone looking at me funny. I wonder if Zekk would like me in a dress... hell, I wonder if Zekk likes me at all.   
  
With Love,  
  
Jaina //  
  
  
Zekk closed his eyes, and leaned back against the bench. //Gods Jaina, why didn't you TELL me?!// He thought. He always knew he loved Jaina, but he didn't want to admit it to himself because he knew it would ruin their friendship.   
Tears started to form in his green eyes, thinking of all the chances he had had to tell her... was it all in vain?   
His heart ached too much to read on, he closed the book and returned it to his pocket. Zekk got up and started to walk, by this time the sun had risen, it's beams blinding him.  
He walked past the fountain him and Jaina had swam in when they were children, he sighed. He knew nothing would ever be the same again. 


	2. Waiting

Title: Waiting  
  
Chapter: 2/2  
  
Author: Cerasi J.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary: Chapter two of my fic "Just Another Monday."  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Zekk, Jaina, Jacen, or anything Star-Wars-ish.  
  
Author's Note: Dedicated to all you J/Z fans out there!  
  
~*~*~  
  
"When darkness is upon your door, and you feel like you can't take anymore  
  
Let me be the one to call, if you jump, I'll break your fall  
  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
  
If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart  
  
If you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone."  
  
-Savage Garden, Crash and Burn  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
Zekk returned to the hospital around 9:00a.m. that morning. Han had gone to the local tavern for a drink or two; Leia was sitting in an overstuffed chair in the waiting room with her arms around her knees, weeping. Tenel Ka and Tahiri had come to comfort their beloved boyfriends, and were currantly talking a walk, as Zekk had done.  
  
Jaina had been admitted into surgury at 8:45a.m. to possibly slow some internal bleeding, after surgury she would be allowed to rest for one hour, then she would be admitted into the bacta tanks… assuming she lived that long.  
  
Zekk sat in the waiting room, across from Leia, his hands folded in his lap, looking paler than usual. Leia rocked back and forth in the chair, sobbing quietly. Jaina's journal seemed to burn a hole in the pocket of his jacket.  
  
A young woman came into the waiting room, "Zekk?" His head shot up, "Yes, that's me." She smiled at him, "Hi, my name is Aki, I'm part of the watch group posted outside Ms. Solo's room, there's a young woman here to see you."  
  
"Oh," Zekk said, "Is it important?" Aki cocked her head to the side, "It must be, she seemed very intent on seeing you."  
  
He sighed, and rose, "All right." He put his hands on the small of his back, streched, and there was an audible pop. He followed Aki outside into the hall, with every step he took, it seemed that Jaina had less and less time to live. "Zekky!"  
  
Zekk looked up, his senses slower than usual, "Hey Galla." Galla Tyvek, the new girl Zekk had met, threw her arms around him and showered his face with little kisses. "Honey! Where have you been, I've been so worried about you!" He pulled away from her, with the state Jaina was in, he couldn't bear to see Galla right now.  
  
"Zekky?" She pouted, "What's wrong? Why are you at this hospital?"  
  
"Galla, please," his voice came out rough, "My friend is hurt very badly… I need to be alone right now." Her big brown eyes filled with tears, "What, am I not good enough for you? C'mon Zekky, why are you so upset? I mean, who is this guy anyway?"  
  
Zekk wanted nothing more than to turn his back and walk away from Galla, but his body refused. "Girl. A one Jaina Solo, Jedi Knight and a very close friend of mine, we go way back Jaina and me…" Galla's eyes seemed to glow with brown fire, "A girl!? You cheating on me, Zekky?"  
  
He shook his head, "Gal, please…" He turned and started to walk back to the waiting room. She ran after him, but was blocked by Aki who said, "Sorry, only authorized personnel beyond this point."  
  
"But!" Galla protested, "Why ain't I allowed in? Zekky! Tell 'em I'm with you!"  
  
At this point, Zekk blocked out all conversation, he turned, went back into the waiting area and sat down. Leia looked up at him, her tears stopped, but her eyes were red and puffy.  
  
"Who is that woman?"  
  
"Oh… just some girl."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"When can I see Jaina?"  
  
"You'll have to ask the doctors."  
  
Zekk slumped back in his chair, he wanted to see her so badly… he knew he might be disgusted at what he saw, but he was willing to except that.  
  
There was a soft knock at the door, and a human doctor, he must have been a doctor for he was wearing E.R. scrubs, said, "Hi, Leia and Jacen Solo?"  
  
Leia looked up, "No. Leia Solo and Zekk Owed."  
  
The young doctor blinked, "Oh, terribly sorry." He came in and sat on Leia's left side, Zekk crossed the room and sat on her right. "Well," the doctor said, "My name is Adam Tri, and Jaina is out of the operating room now, she's doing just fine, and when she rests for an hour, she'll go into bacta treatment."  
  
Leia collapsed in her chair with a soft sigh, "Thank goodness…"  
  
Adam continued, "She has major internal bleeding around-…" Again, Zekk stopped listening, Jaina was all right, wasn't that enough?  
  
He put his head in his hands and caught, "Only family and doctors will be permitted to see her at this time."  
  
Zekk raised his head and questioned, "What?"  
  
Dr. Tri looked slightly annoyed for a moment, then said, "I said, only family and doctors will be permitted to see her at this time."  
  
"No… you mean, I can't see her? What if she dies?!" Zekk felt like slapping the doctor.  
  
"I'm sorry son, those are the rules." Dr. Tri didn't look sorry at all, but Leia did. "Well," she patted Zekk on the arm, "Maybe we can make arrangements for you."  
  
"No, I'm afraid that's not possible, Mrs. Solo, you see, it's hospital rules that-…"  
  
"Damn your hospital rules!" Zekk yelled, leaping out of his seat. Striking out as quick as lightning, he backhanded Dr. Adam Tri with this left hand, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor.  
  
"Zekk!" Leia jumped out of her seat to help the doctor with the bloody nose. "Stop it, just knock it off!"  
  
"I want to see Jaina!" Zekk screamed at the doctor, "NOW!" At that moment, a young woman, who Zekk took to be a nurse ran in, "Dr. Tri! Hurry! Jaina Solo just flatlined!" 


	3. Love Me Back to Life

**Title: **Love Me Back to Life

**Chapter:** 3/3 (Just Another Monday)

**Author:** Cerasi J.

**Rating:** PG-13

**Website:** http://www.angelfire.com/journal2/fanfictiononline

**Category:** Zekk/Jaina romance, angst, drama, song fic 

**Archive:** FanFiction.Net, FanFiction Online.  If you want it, drop me a line and let me know!

**Feedback: **Please! I'm addicted to it! CerasiJ@for-president.com

**Summary:** Zekk faces his inner demons and tells Jaina how he really feels. But is it already too late?

**Disclaimer:** Don't own J/Z, or anything from Star Wars, George Lucas is the man.

**Author's Note:** Just to let everyone know, the song "Everything" belongs to Stereo Fuse. 

---

           _I remember you, do you remember me too?_

          Less than an hour ago, Jaina had flat lined. The life that was always so vibrant within her was dampened and put out for a moment.  But the doctors yanked her back to the living with the thin lifeline she still possessed.  She was whisked into the Bacta treatment immediately, but now it looked like even that couldn't save her.  It was over for Jaina Solo.  Zekk had left the hospital, searching for peace, but finding none.  The journal Jaina once owned still burned a hole is his jacket pocket.  And then he had started to run.  He ran as far and as fast as he could, but he still couldn't outrun the demons that hunted him.

          _Born on the 14th of July, the smell of roses made her cry_

          He finally stopped.  Where was he? He had been looking, but not really seeing.  _The lower levels, he realized with some detachment, like it was someone else thinking and not him.  How did he get here?  He wandered the halls; the smell of rotting flesh and mildew assaulted his senses.  He trailed his fingers along the coolness of the brick wall, which was decorated with graffiti. His thoughts strayed and returned to the motionless young woman who would never know how much he cared. Was she dead? Did they revive her? He wanted to know, but he couldn't go back. He didn't belong there. _

And though you're gone, we ain't far from home 

          Zekk stopped at what at one time was probably a grand balcony; he stared out at the seemingly endless precipice and the bottomless world below it.  Something needed to be changed. _But it's already changing, the world is changed._  Something had to be done.  He had to tell her, he just had to.  He loved Jaina.  Yes! There! He'd said it! He loved Jaina, it didn't matter whether or not she returned that feeling, he loved her and no one else.  Why did it take him so long to realize that?  Why did it have to be realized now? When it might be too late? So many whys and not enough answers.

Rest assured you're not alone 

          He had to tell her. He just had to.  But, Jaina was dying… the only way to tell her would be to… it didn't matter.  It had to be done! He was running out of time, and there was only one way to get her back.  He turned, walking away from the balcony that overlooked the grand buildings of the past.  He removed the pocketknife from his belt, reached behind his head and severed the symbol of his boyhood.  He replaced the knife in its sheath and shook his head, running his shaking fingers through the shortened ebony strands.  He gave a mirthless chuckle, "I always told myself I'd cut my hair."  He turned on his heel and started back toward the upper levels.  His spirit was lighter; it seemed to be healing with his realization.   

          _'Cause I would give everything that I own_

          He needed to feel the sunlight on his face again; he needed to breathe the fresh air that was only available several layers above.  He made his way to the turbolift, surprised to find that it still was functional after all these years.  The ride back to the top took fifteen minutes, now that he was paying attention.  Inside he was torn, what if it was too late? What if Jaina had already let go? He would have missed his chance.  He shook his head, no, there was no time for 'what-ifs' there was only time for now, and now was his chance. His chance to redeem himself and make things right between him and Jaina.  

          _I'd give you my heart and this skin and these bones_

          At last, he was at the top.  His stride was proud, meaningful and quick, his head was held high, his shoulders square, he was a man with a mission. It was time to make things right again.  He slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, his fingers brushing against the leather bound journal, when she was awake, he'd give it back.  His heart was singing, full of hope.  Only the smallest shred of doubt burrowed its way into the back of his mind.  Jaina couldn't be dead, he would feel it if she was.  He quickened his stride to a sprint, and then a full-blown run.

          _The sun and moon, the other sky_

          He slowed his pace when he arrived at the dreaded building.  Hospitals were like prisons, you always go in, but sometimes you never come out.  He stood at the entrance, watching the glass double doors. The doctor's words echoed in his ears, "Only family will be allowed to see her at this time." He knew he couldn't see Jaina, the doctors just wouldn't let him, there had to be someway to get in there! Two doctors walked past him, chatting happily to each other.  His keen jade eyes drifted to the badges they wore, that could get past any barrier.  Perfect.   

Never even stopped to wonder why 

          He followed them inside, his hands shoved in his pockets as he went.  They never noticed him.  He followed them to a locker room used by the staff, one man, who finally noticed Zekk was behind him, smiled and held the door for him.  "You the new guy?" The doctor asked.  Zekk's thoughts scrambled to right themselves, "Uh, yeah, Internship."  He smiled.  The doctor nodded and rolled his eyes, "Worst five years of my life. Welcome aboard."  Zekk shook his hand, thanked him and wandered into a different part of the locker room.  The lockers were arranged in alphabetical order.  He looked for Dr. Adam Tri's locker, who was now off duty.  

I would do anything 

          Soon, the murmuring voices of the doctors faded and Zekk was alone in a restricted area.  He pulled out his pocketknife once again and set to work on Dr. Adam Tri's locker.  His mission was successful, the locker door swung open without incident.  He smiled to himself and reached inside.  Several minutes later Zekk immerged from the locker room, dressed in scrubs. He was wearing Dr. Tri's pass card around his neck.  He kept his head down and walked briskly down the hall, his footfalls echoing on the sterile white washed walls.  

_I would give everything _

          He found himself in a seemingly endless maze of catacombs and corridors, he was lost.  And he was running out of time.  He walked past a computer kiosk and paused.  He sat down, looking both ways to make sure the hallway was clear.  He squinted at the computer screen and typed in "Solo, Jaina".  

          "Access denied," the computer quipped.  He looked down at the pass card he wore and scanned the bar code into the reader at the top of the computer screen.  Suddenly, the screen changed, and a progress report for Jaina was on the screen.  In green letters it flashed at him, _Bacta treatment, time remaining: one hour, twenty-seven minutes._

          _To be your everything_

          She had survived! The hospitals wouldn't waste Bacta on a person who was dead.  It was a healing aid, not a wonder drug.  Happiness flowed through his veins, and a smile graced his lips.  Now, he just had to get to her.  He brought up a map of where the Bacta tanks were held and mapped his way from the kiosk to the tanks.  He burned it into his memory, shut the program out and started on his journey.  It took a few minutes, but he finally grasped the lay out of the hospital.  He hurried past the waiting room where he had been only a little while ago.  Leia was gone; no one was in the room.  Zekk prayed she wasn't in the Bacta room, he needed to be alone with Jaina.

It seems like such a long, long time 

          By the time he reached the Bacta room, his heart was pounding, his knees were weak, his stomach was churning and sweat dotted his forehead.  With a shaking hand he reached for the pass card hanging around his neck.  He held it to the reader on the outside of the door.  The light changed to green and the audible _click_ of the locks being undone could be heard.  Zekk entered, his pulse racing.  The room was dark.  There was the resounding _hiss of the respirator.  Each tank had a light, so it could light up the person inside.  Zekk's breath rasped in his ears, he inched into the room.  The door closed behind him. _

Since your body crossed my mind 

Dread and fear had replaced the wonderful feelings that had been dancing inside of him before. His happiness flittered away and doubt was all that was left.  He peeked around the corner; the first tank was empty.  He let his breath out.  He walked further into the room; the second tank was also empty.  His eyes got ahead of his body, and sought out the one person he was looking for.  There.  In the very last tank on the far end of the wall.  Jaina.

But I think that you should you know 

          Zekk sucked in his breath and rushed forward, he hardly recognized the woman suspended inside the tank.  Her face was slashed and bruised, there was a regenerator clasped on her left arm and one on her right ankle.  But… she was beautiful.  The most beautiful, radiant creature he'd ever seen.  Something moved in the corner of his eye, he spun around and was face to face with the medical droid.

It wasn't I who had to go 

          He sighed, "Uh, five minutes?"  The droid didn't reply, so Zekk chose to ignore it.  So, now, here he was. What to say?  "How do I say this?" Zekk wondered out loud to an unconscious Jaina Solo. "How do you pour out your entire soul with only a few words?" He rested his forehead on the Bacta tank and sighed again, thankful for the coolness of the healing liquid.  He prayed that no one would catch him here, seeing as how this was a restricted area of the hospital.  He watched the lifeless form float in the tank.  Her gorgeous brandy-brown eyes that had held so much passion were closed; her long brown hair must have been cut just before her accident, because now it was much shorter and flowed freely around her pale face.

'Cause I would give everything that I own 

          It was now or never.  He had to do this, not for himself, but for Jaina.  He placed his palms flat on the glass and drew in a cleansing breath.  He let it out slowly, and did something he hadn't done in almost five years.  He opened his mind to the Force.  He let it flow through him, soak his mind and spirit with its golden rays.  He opened his eyes; they focused on the girl in the tank.  In his mind, he saw himself, reaching out his hand to Jaina, he touched her shoulder. _Jaina?_

I'd give you my love and this heart made of stone 

          Nothing happened.  She didn't stir, in his mind or in the tank.  He tried again; in his mind's eye he placed his hand on her shoulder, instead of just tapping her.  _Jaina, honey, please… give me a sign, show me you're still here with me, please._  He felt something.  Just the tiniest twitch, but it was still there.  He knew she could hear him, somewhere deep within her injured brain, Jaina was fighting.  _Jaina, please, come back to the light, we love you, we need you… _I _need you._

The sun and moon, the other sky 

          Still nothing, but he wasn't about to give up.  He felt the healing powers of the Force flowing through him, cleansing him.  He reached out to Jaina once again, this time, turning her around to face him in his mind.  Her eyes were closed; her now closely cropped hair brushed against her delicate jaw as she turned her head.  Her chin sank toward the middle of her chest, like she was sleeping.  She wore a plain white tank top and cargo pants, her feet were bare.  It was almost like a dream.  _Jaina, listen to me! I need you! Please! Come back to us, come back to the living. Don't stop fighting._

Motorcycle that I like to ride 

          He must have been dreaming, he had to be; he couldn't believe it.  He heard it, her voice, as frail and fine as an Orchid, barely a whisper, but it was there.  _You don't need anyone.  Tears sprung to his eyes, she was alive, she was fighting! __Jaina?  Her voice came again, a little louder this time, like a child mumbling in her sleep.  __What?_

I would do anything 

          Zekk's eyes flew open and latched onto the person inside the tank, her eyelids were fluttering, then they shut and she drifted back into a form of sleep.  _Jaina, dammit, you've fought so hard, don't you leave me now, Jaina Solo, do you understand me? Don't you leave me!  _

_          -So tired, Zekk… let me sleep._

_          -WAKE UP! Do NOT go to sleep, Jaina, I'm begging you. I need you, I need you here with me, I have something I want to give you._

          -…_What?_

I would give everything 

          -_Your journal, Jaina, I have your journal.  I want to give it back to you, wake up._  Inside the tank, Jaina's head slumped toward her chest.  _So tired… let me sleep._

          -_No, Jaina, I have something to tell you._

          -_Tell me when I wake up…­ _In his mind, Jaina laid down on a non-existent floor, her eyes remained closed, her voice was still precarious, she was slipping fast, he was losing her, losing his only chance to be with her again.

To be your everything 

          _I love you._  Time seemed to stop; the woman in his hands stirred and shook her head, her blunt hair sticking to her moist lips.  The woman in the tank, however, only twitched her fingers.  _What?_

          _I love you, Jaina, come back to me.  I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I just want you back.  _In his brain, he could see her.  She opened her eyes, the liquid brown shimmering and shining once again.  Inside the tank, Jaina blinked and pressed her hand to the glass, as if she could touch Zekk through the barrier that separated them.

I remember you, do you remember me too? 

          _Do you mean it?_  Inside the tank, her eyes were alive and awake, boring into his like a high-powered laser.  "With all my heart," he said aloud.  He placed one hand over his heart and didn't try to stop the tear that skidded down his cheek.

It seems like such a long, long time 

          Jaina cocked her head to the side, her short hair swooshing all around her; she could obviously hear him. _Why are you crying?  He smiled and inched closer to the tank, "Because I love you."  
  
_

Since I held you near and called you mine 

          _Don't cry, silly._  She made a motion inside the tank like she was trying to wipe his tears away.  _I love you, too, Zekk.  Thank you.  Thank you for not giving up on me._

          "I should be the one thanking you for that," Zekk whispered, his voice tight with emotion.  

          _'Cause I would give everything that I own_

He spread his fingers out on the glass and Jaina matched his hand motions.  _When did you get your haircut?_  He watched her closely, and she smiled at him behind the breathing tube taped to her mouth.  He smiled back, all his fear and doubt drained away, leaving him feeling emotionally high, "Today," he replied.

I'd give you my heart, and this skin and these bones 

          _Hey, what is today, anyway?_ She asked, furrowing her eyebrows.  Zekk couldn't help but think how cute she looked like that.  

_I would do anything_

_I would give everything_

_To be your everything_

          Zekk laughed and rested his forehead on the glass.  Jaina repeated that motion as well, "Just another Monday," he said.

          The End.


End file.
